Tantrum Thursday’s

I always wake up thinking that Thursday’s are going to be productive. I feel motivated that the week is almost over and and I am in the groove of everything. I should have known that thinking I would get my 3 year old to school on time would not be in the plans because I jinxed myself.  Never attempt to be on time with a 3 year old.

I forgot today is “Tantrum Thursday”.   A day introduced by my three year old. Mostly because it is the end of the week and he is near meltdown status.

Today’s theme is Dora Yogurt. I… not having coffee yet and just wanting to feed my child and get him out of this house, opened the Mickey Mouse Yogurt and not Dora. Same Yogurt in my mind, however; not in a three year old’s mind.

I figured the Mickey Mouse yogurt would coincide with Mickey Mouse Playhouse currently playing in the background.  Nope,  I didn’t get the memo that it is not acceptable to have the same character yogurt as the show and so began the domino effect and the meltdown.   Now I am not sure who I blame him or me.  That is a lie…. I blame myself for giving choices especially with him being my second child.  I should be a pro by now.  So because I am mad at failing to offer choices in the beginning, I decide that 7:30 am is a perfect time to show authority.  I am the Mom.  I make the rules.

I calmly say Ethan,  it is the same yogurt just a different picture. (Lie-one is Strawberry and the other is Strawberry/Banana but who really cares).  His response-SCREAMING- I DON’T WANT MICKEY MOUSE!  I WANT DORAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

I decide to try to change the subject and say let’s put our clothes on for the day.   NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  He screams.  I proceed to try to remove his P.J. Top and he goes into crouching Tiger- hidden dragon pose and there is no way any part of this P.J ensemble is coming off.

I then walk away.  It is too early and again, no coffee.  I will take a shower get dressed and start my life.  Perhaps he will just eat his yogurt on his own.  Again, I have yet to have coffee, so I am delusional. He follows me to the room and cries over Dora Yogurt and now he wants no  part of the waffle either, he now wants eggs.  I refuse to be a short order cook.  I am the Mom.  I am the Mom!

I go to the bathroom shower, get dressed and try to ignore the fact that he is rolling on the floor screaming for Dora Yogurt.  My alter ego says just give him the DAMN Yogurt.  My competitive side says if you do this you will have a teenager that will torture you.  I like to think big picture.

So I say “don’t eat it you then and you  will go to school in your P.J’s!  Mommy is making coffee!”  I have my own tantrum and walk away.  I am a grown up.

I call my friend,  have a little mommy y mommy therapy sip my coffee and somehow he eats his waffle, let’s me put his clothes on and hugs me.  I decided to leave the Yogurt alone and have it myself for breakfast once he is at day care of course.  As we all know if took a bite in his presence…I would hear “THAT IS MY MICKEY MOUSE YOGURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

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There is no vacation in Family Vacation

For all of those new moms out there vacation with kids is not what you think it will be.  It will not be your husband taking the baby out for a walk to bring you a hot cup of coffee or the kids sleeping in to 8am because they do it at home.  Oh no,  it will be complete and utter craziness….

Here is an example of what really will happen….

1. You will spend at least one day packing for yourself, the kids and still forget two items.

2.  The kids will develop a habit you have never seen before and you will hate it.

3. You will not have time to read that new book or magazine.

4.  Your kids will not go to sleep early so that you can enjoy the nice ocean view and they will wake up before  6am every day except the last day when you have to leave early for the airport. 

5.  You will pack and unpack your bag at least once a day. 

6. One of your kids will get a cold, cut or get hurt bring a first aid kit.

7.  Your husband will get on your nerves because he will be having a great time.

8.  Sand and babies don’t mix EVER!

9.  Getting drunk with your husband at dinner will backfire as the hangover will be 10 times worse.

10.  You are on vacation thinking of a vacation all alone. 

Morning Routine

Tell me I am not alone when I say I hate mornings with a 5 year old.  It doesn’t matter what I do to create a happy environment my little one tortures us in the morning.  My stomach hurts, my leg hurts,  I am tired…(all of this is in his wonderful whinning tone).  I never knew whinning would the worst thing in the world for me as a parent.  I don’t even mind kicking and screaming but whinning.  Oh boy!  I would rather have a major Dental work.

Good Times!

Because I said so!

I had my first son when I was almost 34 so I thought I was going to be this “new age” mom that would explain everything not yell and have a perfect answer for Discipline.

 Oh boy was I wrong!!!

I never wanted to be like my mom saying “Because I said so!” Yelling like a crazy person because no one was listening. I was going to speak in hush tones to have a calm household.

Then I became a mom of a 3 year old who asked “Why?”
Why do I need to eat three more bites?
Answer: Well, don’t you want to be big and strong?
Why do I always have to take a bath?
Answer: Well, did you play outside today?
Why, do I have to go to bed at 8 oclock everyday????
Answer: You have a big day tomorrow don’t you want to be rested for it?

Then as he turned 4 and his intelligence started to surpass mine the questions were….
Why, can’t I watch the same movie with you and daddy?
Answer: Well the movie is inappropriate for your age, how about we put on Madagascar for you?
Why are you and daddy making cookies right before bedtime, Can I have one?
Answer: You already brushed your teeth and you don’t want to have nightmares.

Then F’d up Fives came…when why is accompanied by a whine that could be used as a form of torture in certain countries.

Now the routine is something more like this….

Time for bed… (Softly)  Good Night…. Grab your drink, go to the bathroom and let’s go.  Time for bed (Slightly highger octive)

Ten minutes later….

WHAT DID I SAY?????  IT IS BEDTIME!  LET’S MOVE IT!  CHOP! CHOP!

“I am scared!”

Me:  “Nothing to be scared of!”

“I am thirsty!” 

Me:   “I told you get your drink before you go to the room!”

“Why, do you always get to stay up and watch inappropriate movies and eat cookies?”

Me: “Because I am the mom!  Go to bed!”

Why do I always have to go to bed??!!!!! (WHINE)  I Neeeevvvvverrrrrr geetttt tooooo staaaaayyyy uppppp laaaattteeeee!

BECAUSE I SAID SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!  NOW GO TO BED!!!!

When did I become a Mom?

Of course I remember when I became a mom (duh!)   However, sometimes when I wake up in the morning (and not one sip of coffee has been taken)  I hear Whinining.  I most of the time choose to ignore it hoping it will magically go away but it doesn’t.  It only becomes louder and the source of it (my 5 year old) is now visible and blocking my path to the coffee maker.  I finally tune in and say “What!?”  Mommy hasn’t had coffee yet!  More whinning comes out none of which I understand and I break out with I don’t understand whinese!  When you speak like a big boy I will talk to you.   Now let mommy get coffee.  Can you just give me a moment? 

Every day I say I will have more patience, not snap and put my kids over my coffee.  It doesn’t happen.  I seem to have tunnel vision every day at 7am.